The Holy Jagerbomb

Last night I experienced the most amazing feat I believe I have ever seen. It very well could have been an act of God. And it was good.

The story begins after MattHynes went home. Daveler Freunden and I were decompressing after a an overheated and overbeveraged MattHynes walked out of the establishment. It was calm for a moment at our table until one of the waitresses ended her shift and decided to join us for an after work cocktail. She sat down and chatted with us about nothing in particular. I think we were talking about great writers from the south when she happened to mention that she used to live in the south and one of her Southern Baptist friends just sent her a brand new copy of the King James Bible. When she pulled the book out of her bag to show us I could see that Daveler Freunden was a bit scared. I, on the other hand, was extremely excited. One of my favorite pasttimes is to open the Bible to a random page and read aloud about the power and the glory of our Almighty Lord. Just about every passage in the Old Testament will knock your socks off with statements like, "And Jeremiah saw the hefer sit down in the tall grass and it was then that he understood the power and the glory of our Almighty Lord. So Jeremiah kneeled down in the tall grass and thanked our Almighty Lord for his unwavering constitution. And Jeremiah rejoiced."

The waitress, Daveler Freunden, and I all took turns turning to random pages in the King James Bible and reading aloud the glorious passages. When we became bored with reading aloud the waitress asked Daveler and I if we wanted to do a round of jagerbombs. It was late and our 7am wake up call was looming over us, so we declined. The waitress went ahead and ordered herself a jagerbomb and we all saluted Jesus as she drank it down. And that's when it happened.

Daveler had buried his face in his arms for no particular reason, and I was watching the waitress put her empty shot glass on the table and light herself a cigarette. As she was placing her lighter back on the table, she screamed out, "Oh My God!".

Daveler jumped up and I asked her what was the matter. "That shot made my nipples hard!" Daveler and I were stunned. That can't happen. Does that happen? No. Impossible. Daveler and I looked at one another and then we both slowly turned back towards the waitress. We both looked down at her breasts, and not only were her nipples protruding thru her white t-shirt, but they were glowing. They were fucking glowing! It looked like they were about to burn right thru that white t-shirt. And when I saw those nipples glowing thru that shirt, that is when I understood the power and the glory of our Almighty Lord. And I kneeled down on the ground and thanked the Lord for showing me the light. And I rejoiced!